The Season of the Biblical Epic

Several Easters ago, there was a Jesus-Christo-a-thon on TV wherein they showed only biblical epics for 24 hours. Of course, I was there...proving to all that I had no life, but in my constant search for meaning-through-kitsch it was essential that I experience this cultural moment. Of course, among many other things, I and my partner in societal scrutiny noticed a trend in the casting of Pontius Pilate in the New Testament films. Whether it was in the older Biblical Epics (we'll call them B.E.s for short) or even the more recent examples, there seems always to be a bizarre tendency to portray P. Pilate as a femmy Brit! In the 1961 Nicholas Ray classic King of Kings, P. Pilate is played by the fey Hurd Hatfield (of Dorian Grey fame), in Scorsese’s Last Temptation of Christ he is played by David Bowie, even in Monty Python's Life of Brian, Michael Palin camps him up as being just a bit of a nancy. He has a lisp and everything. In all, I noted only one example where this was not the case. In The Greatest Story Ever Told, starring Max Von Sydow in a stylish array of robes in Calvin Klein hues, Pilate is played by Telly Savalas, which as you can imagine is completely unbelievable as he is altogether too butch for the role. I didn't believe him for a minute.

This Easter we are planning to do the whole thing again, an activity I highly recommend to you. We shall dye Easter eggs, eat See’s Chocolate Bunnies, and take in the cheesy glory that is the B.E. You can test out our theory and watch the films of the New Testament or if you’re really keen, enjoy a Passover/Easter Combo. Kick off the weekend with the C.B. De Mille Old Testament extravaganza, The Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston as Moses and Yul Brynner as Ramses, with Anne Baxter, Edward G. Robinson, Vincent Price, Yvonne de Carlo, Debra Paget, and many, many others. Follow up with a Victor Mature film or two, Samson and Delilah or The Robe, and experience the paramount achievements of early 1960s cinema with King of Kings and The Greatest Story Ever Told. The experience will change your life and improve you as a person, I guarantee it.